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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22676986">Little Duck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedthing/pseuds/whisperedthing'>whisperedthing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AM One Shots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Andi Mack (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dysfunctional Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Regret, a little angsty bc well it's celia and bex but, actual pure fluff, but my mom is still always there for her and hates when my sister struggles, i really just wanted to dive into how she felt even tho she was tough on bex and they fought A LOT, i was also reminded of my mom checking in on all of us at odd hours to make sure we were still alive, justice for celia, my mom and my sister are very similar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 18:34:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22676986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/whisperedthing/pseuds/whisperedthing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>All mothers know the feeling of disappointment, of utter hopelessness and inconceivable sadness - but few knew it as well as Celia Mack. </p><p>She spent many sleepless nights replaying that memory in her head - wondering what happened to the two of them; when did she stop being exciting and affectionate? When did Rebecca's bright eyes dull? She prayed and bargained and wished on stars like she was a five year old child again that her daughter would come home because life is hard when half of your heart isn’t home...and sometimes she swore she heard someone tiptoeing up the stairs; like she was sneaking back in from a party - but every time Celia checked, no one was there. She'd calm herself down, and try to sleep for a bit because she knew by morning, she had to be strong. She had another little duck to take care of.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Celia Mack &amp; Rebecca "Bex" Mack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>AM One Shots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631377</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Little Duck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>           “Where’s my little duck? I don’t see my little duck anywhere!” Celia exclaimed, pretending not to notice the wiggling body underneath a pink blanket. “Maybe she’s...under the bed?!” She said loudly, bending down to ‘look’ <br/><br/></em><em>          She heard about tiny giggles and couldn’t help but smile herself. “No? Maybe she’s hiding in the closet?” She opened the door to reveal a mess of toys and clothes, but no little girl. “Oh no, I just don’t know where my Rebecca is!” She tutted loudly, collapsing on the bed.</em><br/><em>“Wait a minute - this blanket sure feels...bumpy!” She ripped the blanket away, exposing a toddler with bright eyes and a big smile who burst into laughter.</em><br/><em>“Here I am, māma!” Celia wrapped the toddler in a tight hug, kissing her on the head several times. </em><br/><br/>         <em>She never wanted to let go. </em></p><p>        But evidently - she did. She screwed up along the way, as much as she hated to admit it. She let her perfectionism, her competitiveness, and her need to please her parents and Mei get in the way of who her daughter was becoming. Years of piccolo lessons wasted, Cantonese barely used, endless tutoring and strict rules and chores, no boys allowed until she moved out, mental health declining...</p><p>       It wasn’t like Celia didn’t understand. She was the black sheep of her family too. She hadn’t always been uptight and certainly didn’t always follow the rules or expectations her parents set. She wore skimpy bikinis, had fun, and married a white man. She wasn’t always Celia, she was Cece - but she had lost sight, driven to become a better parent than Mei, to win more of her parents’ affection, to give Rebecca the best life she could have; which her parents had drilled into her - after all, they had moved to America for a better life for her and Mei. </p><p>     But in the end, she had lost her little duck.</p><p>    All mothers know the feeling of disappointment, of utter hopelessness and inconceivable sadness - but few knew it as well as Celia Mack. She spent many sleepless nights replaying that memory in her head - wondering what happened to the two of them; when did she stop being open, exciting, and affectionate and when did Bex’s bright eyes dull? Sometimes she swore tiptoeing up the creaky stairs, like her daughter was sneaking back in after a party. She’d  go check, but always found no one. She prayed and bargained and wished on stars like she was a five year old child again that her daughter would come home because life is hard when half of your heart isn’t home...but she knew by morning, she had to be strong because she had another little duck to take care of.</p><p>   Each postcard Celia received, she watched her heart drift further and further from home.  She endured agonizing updates about Ling and probing questions from Mei about where Rebecca was. (‘California’, ‘Arizona’ ‘Las Vegas’ ‘Reno’ ‘New Orleans’ ’Boston’ ‘New York’) She explained away missed birthdays and missed holidays to the extended family, she pretended she was okay and sometimes that, she was even better off for it - that it was good for both of them to have miles and miles between them with little contact.</p><p>  Sometimes Bex would come back. She’d spend a week or two in Shadyside before a fight would erupt between the two of them; simple misunderstandings about anything would become screaming matches. Bex would slink away with nothing more than money from Ham, a hug from Andi, and her suitcases. When Celia would check in her room, she would find a printed out map of where her daughter was going to next.</p><p>There were three years they didn’t see Bex. Celia liked to file those away as ‘the lost years’ and think of them as little as possible. They knew she was alive. She’d send postcards from Sacramento and simply explained she had settled down with a man and couldn’t come home. Bex liked to file them years as ‘the awful boyfriend years’</p><p>On sleepless nights, Celia would recount all of her failures as a parent. Though she often prided herself on her tough love and acted like she had been right, clearly she had done something wrong. Something very wrong and she vowed she would never make those mistakes again with Andi.</p><p>Years later, on Andi’s thirteenth birthday, Celia checked on her at 2 in the morning as was her routine. She stopped outside her home gym, before opening it a crack. She smiled contently and sighed in relief upon seeing Bex strewn on the couch, snoring loudly. </p><p>Though the road would be rough and the air would be suffocatingly tense - Celia tiptoed to her room, curled into bed and slept through the night.</p><p>Her little duck was home.</p>
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